Immanuel

Kant.  I have never read a more dense piece of work.

The internet has very nearly succeeded in talking me out of even considering law school.  I've got a lot of figuring out of things to do.  Yesterday night, before GC I just started feeling really down.  Especially after I paid like. $7 for green tea to bring to GC.  I know it will be split three ways eventually but.  Man.  I generally feel really insecure.  I kind've have no idea what the heck I'm doing here sometimes.  One of the bajillion people who avoid math like the plague, and either want to teach or stay in school for ever.  No solid ideas of what I'm doing in the future.  Why on earth then, would I want to go get into tens of thousands of dollars of debt at the start of my life, seemingly on a whim?  I'm not saying I've crossed law school of the list for good, but.  a lot of pieces will have to fall in place.  and I've got to step forward onto the ones that are in place with more confidence.  Doesn't matter how much road is in front of me if I'm not moving forward.

I felt better after GC.  Christian was really encouraging.  Just telling me there's work out there if you really want it. (maybe that's actually depressing...it wasn't at the time) and.  Just an awesome group of people who are just. Really loving all the time it seems.

I went on a swearing spree this afternoon.  Bad Matt.  Bad.

Went to the gym. did...pull ups, something called "row," and "pull downs."  "7-7-7's" "free bench" and "dips." so.  great!  I did not go running this morning though.  I wound up staying up til midnight talking to Jake about the future. which was good. but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed at 6 am.  I generally slept pretty terribly last night again also.  and my runny-nose is starting to really annoy me.  I am angry at it.  For real.

There was a skinny old naked guy hanging out around the locker Matt picked out when we came back.  I found it awkward.  I dunno if he did.

I weighed myself.  That scale tells me I'm hovering at around 200 lbs.  Hm.  Well.  I think that's  negative progress for the year overall.

Time is going by too dang fast.  Slow down a bit please? (I'm not really looking forward to much though...)

Heeeeey.  I love you family ;)

I have not listened to music today yet.