Being Still

Gah.  I hate it.  I just.  Hate it, when the answer to my problems is simply to wait.  To not consider it a problem.  For a couple of reasons.

Firstly...because I really already knew that...talking it out, especially with someone else, just makes it that more frustrating when I come back to the correct answer, already known.  Secondly, and more morely, because it just sucks.  Who wants to wait for anything?

I'll get back to all this when I get back from late night with los hombres.

I would rather be Ron than Harry

Ron gets the girl.  Who cares about Ginny.  Flipping Hermione man.

I think I might take a blogging hiatus for the remainder of the break

Lois and Clark grind my gears

and Superman just evaporated an oil spill with his heat vision.  I'm pretty sure that's not the way things work...

Tomorrow is the journey home.  Rain, Sleet, or Snow.  Maybe no snow.  We'll see.  It'll take quite the blizzard to stop me though.

Lodrick is a biology/anthropology major if you didn't know.  He spends twelve hours a day doing homework.  An inspiration to be sure.

I downloaded all of the parts for Eric Whitacre's sleep (they were posted for free download for the virtual choice.  Which you must youtube if you haven't seen).  I don't see me ever actually using them.  Anyone want to form a choir?

I would really love to go around to some old folks' home (is that an offensive term?) caroling with some peeps a couple times between the 10th and 4th.  Shouldn't be so hard to get a party together. 

Walking to English this morning was especially slow and especially cold.  While the roads are mostly clear at this point, the sidewalk is still a pretty solid sheet of ice.  I opted for the bus on my way back.  Unfortunately it was the wrong bus.  I got off a few stops earlier than usual into the twenty something degree weather to wait for the correct bus.  It wasn't long a wait fortunately.

I was most displeased to find it snowing upon exiting the bus.  I said some things under my breath in anger about the weather I shouldn't have.  It was only the lightest of dustings though.

It is cold outside.

Yesterday I revealed the secret of my adolescent digestive habits.  It was one of the more hilarious conversations we've had.  Right up there with Frodo's "sticky" encounter with Shelob.

Anyway, When I got home today I got sucked into watching Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture."  It was with great effort that I managed not to cry at the very end.  Seriously awesome.

Matt started cleaning the house while I was watching the lecture.  I was compelled to join in.  I had promised to wash the dishes the previous night after all.  Matt is an exceedingly gracious guy.  It's a shame that he is not available to claim a sister or two of mine.

It is so cold.

Lodrick made some stinking awesome chicken Teriyaki.  Which is also not in the spell-check dictionary. 

We've are all having a a wonderful night around the TV watching Lois and Clark (if you couldn't tell).  Matt is going to bake some apples.  How did I get so lucky?

I registered for classes very dramatically and very promptly at 3:15 pm today.  I got into every class I wanted, if not exactly when I wanted.  So here it is in awesome senior-year-myspace-announcement-style:

English 309 "19th Century American Writers" with Pam Hardman.
mon,wed,fri 11:30-12:50.  Bond Hall 227

English 313 "History of Cultural and Critical Theory" with Christopher Wise.
mon,wed,fri 2:30-3:50.  Bond Hall 405

English 350 "Introduction to Creative Writing" with Nancy Pagh.
tue,thu 10-11:50.  Humanities 101

It's not the perfect schedule.  A lot of English.  But as I cannot declare political science until next quarter it was about my only option.  And if I decide that I would rather do just English and minor in something else, allowing me to graduate in 2012, this is the best option.  Talk with a councilor is necessary.  I am sort've digging the masters in teaching road at the moment.  But I need wisdom.  So I must ask for it.  and I'll receive it.


Matt Potter proposed to Hannah (she said yes of course) and I am so happy for them.  Goodness.  Congratulations you awesome man you.  Doing Matts everywhere proud.

There Aren't Enough Good Songs

for the bad guys in break ups to listen to loudly and scream out about passionately.  Get on it songwriters.  Come on.  Aren't there any jerks who write songs out there?

I'm realizing that I have almost no work left to do in the quarter.  I've got my last paper, which I've mostly written already, for my 202, a take home test for 370, and a multiple choice final for 261.  That's nothing.  A few short participation point assignments in between, but I'm in the free and clear 'til the new year it seems.

Registration for winter quarter opens up for me tomorrow.  I still haven't quite sorted out for sure which codes I'm pressing in at 3:15 on the dot tomorrow.  But there are still plenty of seats in everything I've looked at with any remote interest, so I'm not to stressed. 

It was an up and down day in football.  The Vikings got roasted, but what else is new.  I've been saying the head coach is what's wrong with that team since the preseason.  He's just not likable to start with.  Poor Brett Favre...

The Patriots gave me a scare.  I don't know why I was so in love with P Manning last January, only to find myself rooting solidly against him this year.  I think I've said this before, but Tom Brady's sexy hair has drawn me into his corner.  It looked like it was going to be a repeat of last year (31-14 lead at half, lost in the 4th quarter by Manning godishness),  but Peyton threw his 3rd and final pick as the colts were driving towards the win.  I don't understand how the patriots D could look so helpless for so long to begin with though.  Demoralizing.  I'm glad it ended with Manning throwing it away.  He doesn't need any more MVP awards.

I'm calling Eagles Chargers in the Superbowl at this point.  Vick and Lombardi feel like destiny this year.  Sort've like Brett Favre last year...But yeah.  Philip Rivers is being too awesome to not carry that team to the post-season. 

In fantasy land I am currently being demolished by Michael.  My first string of two losses in a row seems imminent.  Brees and Foster fought bravely for me, but I can't overcome goose eggs from Ahmad Bradshaw and Randy Moss.  And flipping Steve Johnson on the other side...The Bengals are painful to watch.

Why am I talking about football so much?  Who cares about that?

Well that's pretty much my day today though.  Exactly as I planned it on Friday though.  There's surprisingly little to be done in the twilight hours of Fall quarter.

Nathan from our core (also our next door neighbor) baked us brownies and came over to share them with us.  He's a really cool guy.  We had some awesome conversation.  I was pretty proud of how consistently hilarious I managed to be for the entirety of his visit.  I think my conversational skills are really coming along.

I really adore Matt.  I am amazed by the instant chemistry we've had.  "I love this thing.  It's like wearing a sleeping bag."

The trek to church this morning was pretty intense.  2 miles over mostly a solid sheet of ice.  The roads look pretty good though, so getting home shouldn't be much trouble.  Josh was gracious enough to give us a ride back home so we didn't have to tread by uphill on the ice.  Church was pretty awesome.  They haven't played a song I haven't thoroughly enjoyed at Redeemer.  I want their song book.  and Rob was his usual awesome.  I am super stoked to listen (digitally...since I'll be home this next Sunday) to his sermon on the "Exhortations" in Philippians 4. 

I am so super stoked (stoked...I didn't use that before I met Matt) to get home and hang out with my stinkin' awesome family.  And Jared.

Hey Kara, Sara.  Go do some pushups.  Proverbs 31:17.  (I stole this idea from a status I recently read...)

One of These Days...

I'm going to do all of those things that I have never done.  The list keeps growing.  One of which is learn how to put pictures inside posts.  So here is my try at that.  Did it work?  It's a snowman! and me!

Matt and I went over to Ryan's girlfriends apartment last night (with Ryan and Joey) and watched the first half of elf.  Walking into a girls apartment is like stepping onto a foreign planet.  The pleasant smells.  The color coordination.  Remarkable.  I met Katy, Amanda, and Megan (Katy is Ryan's GF).  They cooked pumpkin pancakes with some sort of cream cheese cinnamon frosting.  I'm trying really hard right now to think up a sentence that might approach an adequate explanation of how awesome that dinner was.  At midnight.  All of this while it was blizzarding outside.  It felt pretty good.  Matt and I took off at around one.  We were originally going to stay but for a few minutes.  For obvious reasons this did not happen.

Poor Matt had to wake up this morning to go to work at the library (what an awesome job though...).  He had thought that the library would be closed due to the road conditions.  Which are currently rather deadly looking.

As for myself, I slept until sometime between 9 and 10 and was graciously guessted into Fairhaven for brunch by Lodrick.  I stuffed my face as per usual when I'm given such an opportunity.  Afterword we I took a stroll with Lodrick, Nick, Luke, and Luke's roommate across campus and back to see the sights.  We attempted to roll an enormous snow boulder up the stairs to nowhere, failed, then tried to roll it down the hill from the AIC to Fairhaven.  The poor boulder cracked in half on its way.  We moved on.  I stopped by the library to say hey to Matt (the group was slowly disintegrating), found Lodrick and Nick once more and we strolled back home through our winter wonderland.  After this outing I spent awhile playing Halo with Jared, Daniel, and Connor.  We did well.  Until Daniel and Connor left.  Then it was fairly terrible.  Anyways, I made myself an egg sandwich for dinner, was on the wrong end of some stupid psychological games with Kara and Sara texting back and forth (I'm being told texting isn't a word by spell-check), and now I am here.  Preparing for a very early bedtime of 8' o'clock.  That is less than 12 hours of being awake.  But I plan on making up for it tomorrow.


Got a text from Aaron about possibly doing a game night tonight, but it is so dark and cold outside I don't think I'm capable of cranking my day up into any sort of high gear at this point.  Plus, I want to wake up in the morning.

I am now entering 2nd Kings.  It's cool to see the disjointed Bible time line in my head finally sorting itself out.

The forecast tells me Jake should be able to get home safely tomorrow.  At least it probably won't be the weather which is his early demise.  Monday night is looking dangerous though.  Great. I think I might find a place to park Monday night which isn't here.  I have serious doubts about that cars ability to get out of here safely in rough conditions.

Snow

I thought about a couple titles for this post.  All different ways of presenting that fact right there.  Snow.  It is here.  Outside.  Lots of it.  And it is awesome.  If only Jake were not currently in possession of my vehicle 2 hours away.  But regardless,  I am ecstatic.  There is something about snow that is just.  Really awesome.  Everyone including myself overuse that word, but snow is just.  something to be in awe over.  For me at least.  All of the positive stimulus with Christmas and the music and...it just is heavenly.  I would hate to live in the midwest or Scandinavia, where snow becomes commonplace.  It's such a significant event for me every year.  The warmth and the friends and family are coming and.  It's just great.

If I might muse about my future for a bit.  I've been thinking about careers that I know about which I could possibly see myself being in.  I figure,  I love school so much ( I seriously, love being in a classroom and learning), and I'm so scared of leaving, why ever leave?   I mean.  I could teach right?  Why not.  English, history, government.  I think I'm capable of it for sure.  I think I'm capable of loving it actually.  who knows.  It'd only take an extra year to get the practical masters in education (although I'd probably want some more legit grad school before then) and then bam.  But I doubt the job market for educators is better than for anyone else.  Quite probably worse actually.  In fact, being a Mr. west or a Ms. Fisher is a dream job almost.  Who knows.  God.  So I'll ask him.

At our men's GC we talked a lot about sex...duh.  I and one other guy are the only ones not involved currently.  Which.  I dunno.  Which is cool.  Shiloh, the only married guy in the bunch, brought up in passing that women are our sisters' in Christ.  and You've got to treat them that way.  All of them.  Up until the minute you say I do to one of them.  (and then only that one of course...)  So .  That's a pretty good discourager. or mindset.  Or whatever you want to call it.  Would I look at my sister that way?  Goodness no.  We also discussed being bold in keeping each other accountable for sin.  Hypocrites, or immature, or whatever it is, If the truth is being spoken, it's got authority to rebuke the heck out of sin.  And it's necessary that it's done. 

I wish I didn't live in a day when sex was everywhere.  It just makes things so tough.  I can't even walk through campus or turn on the television without crap.  I mean.  I'm trying to cleanse myself of all the crap I've gotten complacent about in the last several years and.  Life here and now certainly doesn't make that easy.

CCF was cool today I suppose.  Laura did one of those paint Jesus upside down things during worship and Matt was up top leading for the first time.  He did well.  The sermon was on the holy spirit.  It was good I suppose.  I really prefer redeemer to ccf.  but I dunno.  Maybe I just haven't invested as much into ccf.  Then walking outside.  Bam.  snow. awesome.  I trekked home the 18ish minute walk to enjoy it.  I remember seeing the futile salt sprinkles on the brick just a couple hours earlier.  Ha.  I suspect an awesome snow battle will go down tomorrow.  I hope.

Working backwards,  I was on campus from 2-7 (CCF) studying.  It was the first time I'd gotten a considerable chunk of stuff like that done in awhile.  It felt good.  Had a lazy morning.  Matt did the dishes again I just found out.  Great...

Anyways.  There's snow outside.  and it's white and pure. and 4 inches at least.  Joy.

Gospel Faith

My whole life is not what Christ does, plus what I do.  Christ minus me, equals everything.  Christ plus nothing, equals everything.  and That's a joyful thing.  That is why I can have joy in my faith.  I'm reminded constantly of how much I stink at following Jesus.  More so even.  Everyday.

God died ultimately so we could have joy.  To fill that God shaped whole.  Jesus paid it all.  There's nothing that I have to do, or would be able to do, to make up a gap between me and Jesus.

"You know how you don't grumble? You rejoice in Jesus."  Thank you Rob.

Philippians 3:2-4

"Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh.  For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, who who put no confidence in the flesh..."

"Anyone that comes in and says it's Jesus plus your works.  Watch out for them" (Rob) Back then it was people who said you still had to follow Jewish customs, and get circumcised and all that great stuff to be saved.  But its the people who glory in Christ Jesus, and put no confidence in the flesh that are the real circumcision (the real saved folk.).  Nowadays it's good works.  Or confessions or...hail marys.  w/e else.  That's not what the Bible says.  That is not in the Bible.  I cannot add anything to what Jesus did.  But, in trying to live a Gospel centered life I respond to it.  In joy, good works come out of me, because of Jesus.  Through Jesus.  But that has nothing to do with how I am saved.  It's a fruit of it.  That is why James said faith without works is dead.  Because there is not faith sans works; works are the natural fruit of being saved.  But it is not the good works of the saved that get them saved. 

If there is any Justice in the 'afterlife' or whatever you want to call it.  It's in hell.  Because that's the wages of sin.  Heaven and Hell are not symmetrical.  Good people going one place, and bad another, and then somewhere in between.  It's hard for me even to wrap my mind around it, but it's a black and white line between those covered by Christ and those not.  Everything else is "loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus" (Phi 3:8)  I have to drag the universe off being centered on me, and humanity, and what we do.  Everything - Jesus = nothing.  Jesus - anything = everything.  Like Matty Thiessen penned, "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

Go listen to this It's the 9:30 for last Sunday.  Entitled the same as this post.  Seriously. Do it. Right now.  Kara. Sara.  Do it. It's awesome.
http://redeemersouth.org/eat-truth/sermon-series/philippians.php

If I wake up in the morning, and don't read my Bible, and I'm not praying throughout the day, or I do something sinful, do I feel like God doesn't love me?  God wants me to do those things (minus the sinful part...) but He loves me no matter what.  It's pride when I think that's not true.  (I'm borderline plagiarizing Rob here.  So forgive me. )  If I can't be honest about the sin that I commit, then that's me being proud of what people think about me.  Which isn't right.  Because that doesn't matter.  People's perception of me is not what is capable of validating me.  I fall into thinking that way very often though.

I can't have pride (though I do...).  It leads me to think that what Jesus did on the cross wasn't enough.  I'm not a good guy, not better than anyone else on God's scale. and what else matters?  My trust is in Christ, not in my performance.  How else could I have any joy?  Joy Joy Joy Joy.  I can raise my hands, and sing loudly and. Rejoice.  And suddenly I'm not grumbling about stuff anymore.

Every post title must start with I...

Turns out I didn't manage to manage my time well enough today after class to sit down write anything interesting.  But I'm outta here in 5 days.  For 5 days.

I feel frustrated.  But really happy for Angela (on The Office).  I think Outsourced tonight is going to be funnier than the office.  But not necessarily better.

Snow is on the forecast for all weekend.  I let Jake take the car to Seattle for Harry Potter and his sisters baptism over the weekend.  So.  Hopefully he and the vehicle make it back in one piece.  He's a better driver than I am.  I don't know why I would be worried.  Would you have done this Dad?  I dunno...

I am seeing commercials for a movie with Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd, and Jack Nicholson.  It's gonna be one of those that just.  Really grinds my gears.

We had a men's only GC last night.  and I can't think of anything good to say at the moment.

I feel pretty lame right now.  I felt really good yesterday.  I'll feel better tomorrow I'm sure.  Maybe.  Maybe in an hour.  who knows.

Maybe I need to walk outside in the freezing rain.  Like Todd Dempsey.  But for different reason.

A Woman Who Fears the Lord is to be Praised

As is a woman who gets Lord of the Rings references.

Hey folks, I just wanted to be sure I post something today.  I've still got a lot of stuff to get done for tomorrow.

Since I want to have a post that says November 17th, I'm gonna go ahead and post this.  I promise awesome tomorrow...

Currently listening: The End of All Things from the Return of the King Soundtrack, Your Song from Moulin Rouge.

I could be working out right now

But I left the clothes I sweat in at the apartment.  I was not motivated enough to make the 45 minute round trip there and back again a second time today.

Working out is such a weird activity though...You go into a room and move objects with a lot of mass back and forth, accomplishing nothing.  No work is done.  How silly.  I was going to say something about how people 400 years ago would have thought it was silly, but I guess weight training dates back to ancient grease.  Thank you once again Wikipedia.  *(Ancient grease? really Matt? fascinating...I did not realize John Travolta was so old...I also didn't realize my jokes were so lame.)

I spent a bit of time this morning before class going back and looking at all my various emails, messages, comments, and other internet communication media through the years.  I was a silly boy at 17.  Heck, I was a silly boy at 19.  Even still I'm far from being free of silliness.  And I have the audacity to desire a girlfriend?  Please...

Tomorrow were having a men only GC.  How exciting.

I definitely have a noticeable bruise on the top o' my head.

It's still relatively early in the day for me, but I did write down some random thoughts in a little notepad...let's see what we've got...

Ahh yes, when I was 17 I was even more of a fool than presently.  Glad we covered that.

I made a note of how frustrating it is when I turn in an assignment which I've spent considerable time and effort on, and which I believe to be quality work, and I get it back with only a check mark on it.  I want feedback.  I need to be verbally affirmed.  Tell me I'm awesome, people.  I need it.

I also made a note (immediately after an instance of the following) about how ineffective a learner I become after I've spoken out in class and been wrong.  I spend the rest of the class period reflecting on my mistake and how much of a fool everyone surely thinks I am now.  Today Anne asked what the infinitive verb to know was in Spanish.  I said ser.  I was immediately contradicted by the woman just behind me who enthusiastically proclaimed the correct response: saber.  Oh what a foolish mistake I made...my face turned red, as a thick layer of sweat quickly shot out of every pore of my body, whilst all of my hairs stood on end.

It do not know why it is hardest for me to be productive when I am nearing my goal.  The end of the quarter is two weeks away and it is now that I have no will to work.  No.  Not this time.  This time I will follow through with my gargantuan swing.  I will not be found wanting effort now.  Right?

I have become pretty good at cracking my knuckles.  Or my knuckles have gotten used to being cracked.

The more people I hear that are reading this the more difficult it becomes for me to post more honest/intimate things.  I feel almost if I posted certain things it would detract from their value, or more importantly (it shouldn't be, but is), make me look showy.   But didn't I say somewhere back in the ancient annals of this blog that I wasn't going to care what people thought?  That this was about me, and that's the point?  If you don't want to choke on sentimentality (or lugubriousness) you don't have to be here.

So here are some of the "selfish" prayers I've been praying.
1.  a.To be able to show my family love ostensibly.
     b. to be a better big brother.
2. For an awesome girl who loves Jesus...(I pray so carefully about this one...trying to say it in the least self-serving,Thy-will-be-done way possible.  It's something close to funny.)
3.  a.To develop a love for all of the people God created. ("break my heart for what breaks yours...")
     b. To not hate.
4. To learn to be ceaselessly in prayer
5.  a. For victory over temptation, through grace.
     b. To forget my past.
6.  a. Wisdom.  Because God says he'll give it to me if I ask.  and I lack it.
     b. Peace in the knowledge of God's omnipotence
7. Opportunities to share Jesus, and courage to follow through
8. A job. (I tread lightly around this one too.)

So family (and others...?),  Hold me accountable for this stuff.  Call me out.  That's important.

Class is in an hour.  261.  I'm stinking hungry...I went to the grocery store and filled up half a cart, then went and put almost everything back except for milk and bread.  I'm trying to remember that at this point I'm not spending money I've earned.  That money really isn't something that's ever mine anyway.  I've got food to eat though.  I just have to get used to eating these...healthy things...

I eat almost no sugar.  I have lost 2 lbs so far this quarter.  That's not great, but it's something.  I'm at 198 according to the scale in the gym.  My goal is 180 by next summer.  I'll have to buckle down the rest of the year if I really want to get there...

I had a witty title to put here...(or: "If I had a kid, I would call him Isosceles")

But I forgot what exactly it was.   I also forgot all the great ideas I had to stick in here.  I need to start carrying around a wee little notebook.  I'm not sure I like that I said wee just now...

Seinfeld is on.  Matt and I are watching.  Well actually Matt is currently performing surgery on his recliner.  It rocks in a manner that isn't pleasing to his obsessive compulsion.

I would like to give a giant birthday shout out to my grandpa Blom.  He is now eight-one.  Which is one year younger than I had in my mind.  I finally got a hold of him on the phone on the fourth try tonight around 9:40. (Seinfeld has given me a witty title)  Always out and about those two.

Matt and Lodrick were gracious enough to join me in a happy birthday trio over the phone.  Beautifully original suspensions courtesy of Lodrick.

Today English was once again largely enjoyable.  I'm startled to discover how many Christians are in that class.  pleasantly startled.

Then came the long delayed chore of laundry.  It really wasn't so bad.  Going down there at around noon I got to spend my laundry time alone with my book.  Which I was absolutely appalled by.  It is hard to believe I can be required to read some of the content (of every kind...) contained therein.  I don't think I'll finish it.  I think I can still get my A without.  I can write my last paper with just the books we've read earlier.

My head had another encounter with the kitchen/living room "window."  I was leaning over and talking to Matt who was at the sink again and Jake comes around and pokes me in the rear with a stick.  I jump up and bam goes my head again...

Other than that today was pretty uneventful.  Michael Vick demolished my fantasy team.  People are already saying he has single-handedly changed the NFL with tonight's performance.  I think Michael is going to run away with the league down the stretch.  He got AP, MJD and Philip Rivers on the trading block the last few weeks, and now he is unstoppable.  Our rematch is next week.

Jake and I had a discussion about Paul's talk of women in Ephesians.  It rubs my socializations (I'm making that a word too now.  It means...morals acquired from society [as opposed to the Bible]... or something like that) the wrong way.  But its God-breathed.  I think I was able to work it out satisfactorily with Jake.  We'll have to talk about it Mom.

Man...Lodrick is ripped.

At Core, Kelby made grilled cheese and tomato soup for everyone.  It was pretty awesome.  We talked about Elijah.

I'm so tired...but I feel I have to fill up this page until the scroll bar thing on the side of the page stops shrinking.  I don't think that's tonight.

I am so excited to get back for the break.  And the Christmas music to follow.  I need to find somewhere to carol.

Currently listening too: Maynard Ferguson's Chameleon (album)

I almost forgot

to blog today.  I wouldn't want to ruin my streak of like...20 days now? I'm not sure.

I'm going to hold off talking about the sermon today.  Because it was really good.  And I want to put some above average effort into it.

Mom, you'll be happy to learn that I am poised to receive my first 4.0 GPA for any term since 5th grade.  Things are rockin' and a rollin' for real here.

I remember being in fifth grade.  Mr. Belisle had a big ugly piece of furniture in the back at a round desk that he let students sit at whenever they did something special.  The first quarter of that year Laura Bettencourt (who I had a mondo crush on) and some other guy got 4.0's and they got to sit in that awesome old garage sale chair for the day.  I vowed to get my day in that chair the next quarter.  I went on to get that 4.0 the next quarter (and never again since...) and Mr. Belisle totally snubbed me.  I was the only one in the class. and I was snubbed.  It was crushing...I blame him for my sub par performance the next several years.

Last night Jake went to play Risk over at Edens.  I let him borrow the car.  Somehow I managed to then lock myself out of my bedroom.  Jake didn't get back until 5 in the morning.  So I got what sleep I could on the couch...I have learned my lesson about door locking now.  I think.

Matt and I went to the 9:30 service together.  We drove.  Personally, I would drive every week and save ninety minutes.  The service was really good.  Cory from my 202 class does this beautiful arrangement of Be Thou My Vision.  It's pretty intense.  That cute girl from my 370 class showed up at Redeemer again today.  I didn't get the chance to say hey.  I did meet a Greg and a Kelly though.  I probably should have gone out of my way to remeet her once more...

We went pretty all out on dinner today.  We used all 4 burners on the stove simultaneously.  We had Trey and Aaron over for Jake to talk about his campus Gospel Community project.  It sounds like they want to hang out at the rec center and have more of a manly play sports then Bible study thing.  Not exactly my cup of tea.  But.  Well.  We'll see.  Prayer for that'd be great.

One area I tend to break with my roommate buddies is toleration for noise.  I am apparently the only one here that isn't awakened by the stir of a mouse.  It was about 11 o'clock and our peers upstairs were having some fun on a Saturday night.  I suppose the bass was a bit loud and some of the sounds creeping down to us we're fairly strange, but I personally wasn't really bothered.  Lodrick and Matt were compelled to pay our neighbors and visit in an effort to quiet them down.  They didn't answer the door.  So they called the cops.  who told them to call the community advisor.  Who told them to call back if it persisted.  It did.  They called the CA again.  They quieted down 15 minutes later or so.  An hour or so later theirs a knock at the door.  It's our friends from upstairs.  A surprisingly civil conversation ensues.  An agreement was not reached.  Honestly though, I am on the upstairs folks side...it was not passed midnight and it was not unbearable (relative I suppose)...and it was Saturday night.

No one around here has heard the song "Wait for Me" by Rebecca St. James.  I'm amazed.  I mean, anyone whose been to a protestant church in the last ten years has to have heard that song.  Apparently not.  Well I like it.

Lodrick is doing abs in the hallway.  It depresses everyone else.

Anyway.  After dinner we played Guillotine.  Which is a game about the french revolution where the goal is to collect as many noble french heads as possible.

Tomorrow is the beginning of week nine (of eleven).  It doesn't seem possible.  Here we go.

and what is it now...nine days until I blow this join for a whole four and a half days?

I'm Glad to be with You...

Here at the end of all things...

The King got to sit on his throne last night.  We wrapped up Lord of the Rings for Lani at around 2:30 in the morning.  Oh goodness.  There were several points where I very nearly convinced myself to head to bed.  But it just wasn't happening.  It's too epic.

I'm glad that sleep didn't claim me last night actually.  It was probably the best time I've yet had with everyone here.  Matt Dugan and I are bromantic soul mates. Oh the laughter...

Lodrick unplugged the TV trying to plug in his laptop right as the orcs were getting of their boats taking Osgiliath Normandy style.  It was pretty hilarious.

I am infinitely grateful for the flattering tag made by Lani on facebook.  I'm just.  Garsh...(on the drive back from CCF at the VU we listened to Come What May and I just belted it the whole time.  Someday someone'll take notice of my awesome.)

At CCF James, the worship pastor, got everyone to go down on their knees for a song.  It was not good on me knees.  He drew from a chapter in Mere Christianity about the spirit following the gestures of the body (well...it was a very similar talk.  He didn't explicitly reference it.)  Raising my hands is still.  Uncomfortable in public.  I don't know why.  Maybe because I'm always standing next to Matt and his wingspan is dominating my personal space (no offense Matt.  I love it.)  But no.  That's not it.  I dunno.  I guess I still connect it, on some level, to putting on a spiritual show.  Even though I'm very completely convinced in my mind that doesn't have to be the case.  I dunno.  It's my introversion.  Maybe.  Focusing my energies inward.  But no it's not...I've rarely been able to stand in awe of God while in public.  I just am to caught up with being aware of my surroundings.  (Which is odd....because extroverted sensing is my inferior cognitive function)  It's stupid.

I need to get to the library and ready myself for the final push this quarter.  Can't let down now!  Forth Eorlingas!! (totally Rohirric for brain cells.)

I'm also planning on contacting the Polisci, English, and Spanish departments to set my academic course for the future.  Since I'm realizing that in all likelihood it's going to take a full three years to finish here.  Political Science and English double up, then possibly a Spanish minor.  I think it's going to be almost all English next quarter, since I can't register for any upper level polisci until I have finished the class I'm in right now.  Stink.

Theoden has all the best speeches.  At least in the movies.  He's a regular Henry V.

Anyway.  It's time to freshen up and go hit those books.

They may talk the talk...

Today I found out that all this englishy mumbo jumbo everyone in my class has been talking in my 202 class definitely doesn't translate as well onto paper.  We got into small groups and peer edited whatever it is we'd come up with "on character."  Initially I felt rather guilty for having a relatively small amount of content to be edited (I hastily threw together some thoughts on what makes characters interesting to me last night/this morning).  Indeed their papers were longer and perhaps more dense overall, but one thing I can keep pace with them on is style.  Afterward I felt really disappointed (and still a little guilty) I hadn't put more effort into my paper throughout the week.  Perhaps then I would have actually managed to really impress for once in that class.

My group was generally really awesome at least.  I am actually looking forward to going to this class, perhaps for the first time all quarter, to work with these guys in the future.  It was a really great experience.

Forget and Not Slow Down would be Relient K's best CD if it only had a bit more length to it.  It's a short, but oh so sweet auditory experience.

Thanksgiving itself is now two weeks away, and my return to home a mere 11 days.  I'm super excited.

At GC on Wednesday I was talking (or at least trying to talk with) Shiloh.  He asked if I'd been playing my trumpet.  I thought that was a rather odd question.  I guess I was just surprised he had remembered I played.  I told him the truth (which is no).  He asked me if I was any good.  I told him...something (yes?).  Then he told me something to the effect of use it or lose it.  More than that he reminded me that it's wrong not to.  God doesn't dole out talents for naught.  This thought hasn't been mixing in an incredibly reassuring way with other recent thoughts on how what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.  I've always thought, and really I still do think, that I was good but not that good (as in music major good).  But to have music really not be a part of my life at all at this point seems treasonous.  To both myself and to God.  I've got to get back into some kind of music that I can do on a regular basis.

Matt D's having a tough time with some family issues.  He could use some prayer I think.

This weekend is going to be a productive one.  I know it.  For sure.  I've got a fairly large amount of material to get through by Tuesday.

For now I'm gonna get in the word and then do some dishes.  While rocking out to some House of Heroes.

The Summer (?) started when our feet crossed that open door...

Going through the mines

Well, we got through the fellowship and two towers today.  The king has yet to return. 

Ooooh how did today start.  It was a mish mash of nothing.  Lani got here at around 10:30 and we wound up finally starting at something like noon.  We took breaks about every half hour to find food to eat.  Matt made brownies.  I got my package of blueberry scented food and bath items.  Had a tuna sandwich for dinner.  And it was all very uninteresting.  One of the most boring and pointless days I've had here.  Even if there was a hefty does of Lord of the Rings.  I'm going to leave dose spelled as does right there.

At GC last night Jake and I marveled at Lani's incredible ability to converse with complete strangers with fluidity and grace.  So enviable.



Jake and Lani, Matt and Mackenna.  Inspiring examples of perseverance and such.  Maturity and what not. Things I aspire to.  Good for them.  Don't let me down guys.  Or else.

Nick, we read your blog aloud.  It was the highlight of my day.  and I'm pretty sure everyone else's as well.

I am sweating alot.  From whatever the bottom half of my legs is called. Calves. Shins. Whatever. It's weird.

Matt's tootsie rolls are all orange.  He feels cheated.  I really love these new bros of mine.  I dunno what I'd be doing without them.  Thank you Jesus for them.

I am very ready for Thanksgiving to get here.  Unabashedly large hugs await everyone.  I'm Sorry this is once again as brief as it is.

Matthew Leach accepted my friend request.  Sweet.

I love seeing people happy.

I remembered the name of the video channel one of the chief contributors to jesusfreakhideout runs with a friend (blimey cow) and look it up just to see if there was anything new.  Not really.  But I found a blog he started (the112days.blogspot.com) about the time in between his graduation from college and his wedding.  People look so awesome on their wedding days.  mostly.

a few of my new friends (more than 2 less than 6) I just found out have plans to propose to their girlfriends over the Christmas brake.  Their happiness makes me happy.  It's contagious.  (happiness. not [romantic] love =/ )  Crazy.  Matt and Jake's girlfriends are both spending time up in Bellingham this weekend.  Love's just all over isn't it.  Stupid love.

Anyway.  I think I have some sort of idea of what to do for my English paper after class today.  So that's good.  I'm feeling generally better about the future than I have the last couple days.  About the future and everything.  I got a text from Dad about a "care package"  I'm pretty excited.  Not gonna lie.  No one else has gotten one yet.  My parent's must just love me more.  Sweeeeet.

I'm looking over the degree evaluation forms online in preparation for registration next quarter.  I don't think getting out of here in 2012 is happening.  If I want to get everything done that I've said I would it'll probably be another year.  Which I think I'm down with.  I feel like it would be a tremendous rush finishing by spring of 2012.  With little time to get in any internship or abroad programs that I think I want to fit somewhere.  I guess it's a little discouraging losing that year that I lost in pre-first grade and worked to get back senior year/last year.  We'll pray about it.

I was reading in Philippians today (at Corey's behest).  "Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again..." and he does, again and again.  "Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!"  Rejoice rejoice rejoice...It is no trouble for me to write the same things again and again.  I think I might try and memorize this whole darn book.

I keep on hearing grandma's voice singing "trust and obey."  I love grandma.  I really feel bad I haven't finished reconstructing her family history notebook in digital form for her.  I'll get on that before Thanksgiving...I swear it.

Chick-fil-a with Joey on Wednesdays is becoming a weekly thing now apparently (if you count two non-consecutive weeks as..."a weekly thing").  One on One was cool I suppose.  Joey and I don't perhaps have the most in common in the world, which might inhibit the most stirring conversations.  But its nice honest time to talk about whats going on in our lives and our working out of our salvation.  How we're feeling. 

Tomorrow we're having lour Lord of the Rings marathon.  I have to have a 3 page draft of an essay for Friday though.  I don't know how much Lord of the Rings I'll be able to watch. 

I'm feeling confident.  More on the rest of the night and GC to come...

Queen Amidala herself...

At last we are getting REsults.

At least in some areas.  Reward for all of my "hard work."  I received a 98 and a 102 on my 370 and 261 midterms.  So great.

I actually felt pretty good walking up the hill back home today.  I got home and was a little perturbable (adding that one to the dictionary too) though.  I was unable to play very nice in the kitchen.  But then I ate.  Spaghetti with sausage instead of beef.  It was good.  Could've been meatier, but it was good to eat something real for the first time in awhile.

The guitar lick from a certain song was stuck in my head all day. walking to class and coming back and I finally got sick of not being able to remember the song so I called my sisters.  They didn't disappoint.  Student Driver by Stellar Kart, which I used to have on my ipod (stole it from chase estes) but unfortunately when my first ipod died I lost it...along with alot of other music actually.

For Christmas I would like coffee creamer.  Also this cd:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ODHXEG?ie=UTF8&tag=lightandgold-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B003ODHXEG

I dunno if I can wait til Christmas though.

I might cut this post shorter than I have yet.  But I'm not much in the mood.  It's a good mood though.

Conan came back last night.  He's on at 11 on TBS.  Which I had to look up online to find on our cable stuff.  But it's there again.  Every night.  Being awesome.  Tom Hanks is the guest tonight.  Why is everyday a word but not every night?  Stupid.

Mormons

Goodness gracious I don't know how to deal with 'em.
 -----

this is just disheartening... http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/26/the-two-track-lawyer-market/

It shouldn't be really.  Why is money important?...What's more disheartening is 40% of recent law school graduates quit practicing a year after graduation.  Or never started.  10 years out the number jumps to 90% from non-top tier schools.  So what's the point of as much as $100,000 in debt if you can't make up for it later on.  I guess I have no reason to think I couldn't be in that 1st quartile if I worked at it.  But I so dislike risk.

I guess this has got me so down because I'm not really what I would call passionate about going to law school, and I think that's a good thing to have in a profession.  It was just a track to stability.  Goodness I'm complacent about my worldliness.  I just want stability? How many different kinds of stupid is that.

I'm having trouble informing myself as to why I am here.  I just don't know.  My career compass is spinning around in circles.  Like Jack Sparrow when he doesn't know what he wants.  What on earth does God's voice sound like?  I want answers.  I want to be told what to do.  Definitively.  So I can be confident in what I do.  I'm tired of feeling blindfolded.  I am not making any progress this way.  I want to see for miles and miles.  Twenty years on this earth and I'm still shooting from the hip, in the dark, with earplugs, a stuffed up nose, sand in my mouth, and gloves that don't fit.

Today I presented "stone" by Michael Palmer in 202.  It went pretty poorly by my guesstimation, but that's usually still meant a positive product according to Tony so who the heck knows how I did.  I'm trying to admire the high concentration of brilliant people in that class, but more often than not it just makes me angry.

Pray pray pray pray pray Matt pray...

I got up and just failed to be Godly all morning. Came home.  and now I'm here.  Feeling pretty lame.

I looked a little bit at the secondary education degree program online.  It's something I may turn to in a year or two.  I obviously need to get some stuff figured out.  I guess the key for now is just putting my all into everything that's before me at this moment and seeing where God might take me from there.

Gospel Servants

If I could etymize (if it's not a word, I'm making it one.  Meaning exclusively to put into written words, as opposed to verbalize which might include oral or written communication using words) a huge sigh better than *big sigh* I would.  And that's today.

I called my sisters today.  Kara explicitly asked me to so that's what inspired that.  I found myself rather unable to effectively counsel them on their various issues.  I'm supposed to be a counselor according to this MBTI bologna, but I don't appear to be very good at it.  I might not be incessantly apologizing but I'm certainly not being what I would call confident around them.  I'd really like to be.  So I guess that goes on the prayer list.  I don't guess I actually.  I know, thank you very much.  I'm definitely not killing it as an older brother.

I've spent a bit more time thinking on Aaron and how awesome he is, and it makes me wonder if Jesus would be sarcastic at all.  If a good christian is sarcastic.  There was a conflict at YWAM in Salem during our missions trip their over everyone in our group being sarcastic people.  That wasn't kosher with the staff there.  At least when facing the world, I don't think it's very loving to be sarcastic, but rather earnest and interested all the time.  Like (I think) I said earlier,  Nick immediately noticed Aaron's loving personality.  It stood in stark contrast, the more I think about it, to everything around him including me and that's just depressing.  I want to be all about love.

Today was in keeping with the theme of the rest of the weekend: lazy.  I cleaned the kitchen and watched football after church.  shame on me.  I do now have to get finish my analysis of this poem.  I'll see what I can make up.   I talked to Corey, who lead worship this morning and is a productive member of my English class, about our paper.  He's confident in himself and excited to work on his own ideas.  I said I don't trust my own ideas as far as I can throw them ( and since ideas are intangible things...).  I suppose I'll have to learn to appreciate the freedom I'm being given and perhaps even enjoy this assignment.  We'll see.

Anyway, today Rob's sermon was on Philippians 2:19-30 (If anyone wants to listen to any of these they're here: http://redeemersouth.org/eat-truth/sermon-series/philippians.php I figured out why my links/embedding wasn't working earlier...I hope).  About the examples of Timothy and Epaphroditus as Gospel Servants.  The traits that those kind of people have.  What they're about.  So basically, if you want to exist to make a difference, to leave a Gospel Legacy, you have to not exist for yourself. (You have to not want to exist? Take the paradox out of the want in that sentence...) Your will and God's will have to mold together and then your will has to cease to exist.  This is just stinking hard.  Obviously.  Everything has to be about what God wants.  From, little (little?) lifestyle choices to big life decisions like marriage and career.  Not my will.  God's.  Where am I supposed to be.  To do this I've got to pray a whole lot more than I do now.  It comes up every time at the end of the day, but it's never going to stop being true.  I need to pray more.  I can't know what anyone wants unless I talk to them.  God's not an exception.  He's going to give if He's asked. Aren't you God?  Yup.  But I do have to ask.

Following God's plan is comforting ultimately isn't it though? Not ultimately, even right now.  If I just think about it.  Everything is going to happen the way my Lord wants it.  The God who has already won the battle for the universe.  I can't rest assured that his victories will play out if I stand in his way or fight with him.  I'm still so anxious about everything though.  I shouldn't be.  about anything.

A Gospel Servant like Timothy, is totally committed.  In every place he's at. Leading or following, and there's a lot of following to be done.  More than leading in fact.  Something I see all the time in myself and in others is a lack of commitment when we're not the ones in charge.  The guy whose calling that shots is the only one who's putting himself all in.  Everyone else is just their to look pretty it seems like a lot of the times.  Especially in the church.  I think, "well, I'm here serving, looking good, giving up my time,  I can put as much effort into this as I want.  They're not paying me.  It's just like...extra credit for life" BOE-LOG-NUH!  I need to be 100% sold out to everything I do all the time and even more so in church!  Goodness gracious Matt.  Come on.  Sing those proverbial back-up vocals with perfect flipping pitch.  It's absolutely necessary.  Follow hard.

Another point Rob made is more addressed toward churches at large.  Bart's "majoring on the majors" sermon comes to mind.  Church has got to be about Jesus.  Rob made reference to how,  the nursery at Redeemer might not have the nicest toys for the kids to play with or even enough toys to go around.  They haven't invested in blinds for the back windows which (apparently, although I haven't noticed) bake the congregation when the suns out.  It's something that would be nice.  But 27.5% of the church's giving  goes to church planting.  (I am under the impression that that is a lot, though I haven't sat in on many financial meetings at any church, whatever the case, it's a percentage they've increased in faith from 20% that is going to reach 30% by the end of the year)  Goodness gracious, if I want to be a Gospel Servant I have to live like I am coming out of a barracks on Sundays after church, not a country club.  I've got to be a worker and a soldier, like Timothy (hearkening back to the days of the battle cry ATF theme).  Who cares if my rear end can take a nap in the chairs or not.

I don't know if I've said this the way I'm going to say it earlier but whatever the case, (I'll say it again if that's is the case) Jesus' love, the Gospel, getting saved, is not something to get at the start of my "christian life" and move on to other bigger deeper things, the Gospel is all.  It's not a starting line; what it is, is the center of one of those...penny collecting machines that you put a coin in and it spins around and around and around getting closer and closer to the middle.  I'm the penny.  circling around that truth.  working out that truth.  It's what everything is about.  What everything comes back to.  I'm thankful to have been a part of churches that know this, and to be in one now.  I'm hoping me repeating this to myself drives it in further.  Praise the One who paid my debt, and raised this life up from the dead.

I know I've got communication/relational skills inside of me somewhere.  God help them come to light.

My apologies for any perceived disjointedness.

Game Night

Was a bit of a bust tonight.  The crowd was small (and devoid of girls) and we wound up just coming back to our place and playing Halo.  Which is fine I guess.  Hi Uncle Dennis.

I feel pretty down today for some reason.  I want to talk to someone but I don't know who.  Someone who I don't instinctively feel like I have to apologize to all the time.  I don't know why I insist on saying sorry so often.  It's not universal in my speech.  It doesn't happen when I talk to Jared or my family.  Or a couple other people.  But most everyone.  I definitely don't feel like holding a phone to my face for an extended period of time though. 

It's really hot in here.  This is probably going to be a shorter entry.  I am excited to sleep my extra hour tonight.  Now that the game night is over (3 hours passed between the first two paragraphs and now) I feel better.  It was fun.  System linking with a bunch of people in the same room is an unfailing blast.  Nick claimed to enjoy his 30 hour stay and I'm inclined to believe him.  Aaron Mortenson is one of the best people I know I think.

Unfortunately Nick had very little to say about the poem I'm presenting on Monday.  He said he thought it was a bad poem.  "If this is good poetry, I could write published poetry."  I really don't doubt that Nick could actually.  He's pretty flipping brilliant.

We went to CCF last night, which I think went alright.  We had Arby's for dinner afterward because I had nothing in the house and we were starving.  It was the first time I'd eaten out here.  I think I've been pretty good about that.  I felt relatively guiltless about the expenditure.  I gave Nick the Share Jesus presentation from my book.  It was pretty funny.  "so I'm supposed to work this question naturally into conversation, but I guess for you and me this is natural."  I'd say it went well.

We wok up at around 1 pm after playing Halo til 5:30 in the morning.  Don't worry mom, that is far from the norm.  I made egg sandwiches and then I guess Nick was content to play more Halo.  Which I was perfectly content with too.  For dinner there was more eggs.  That's pretty much all I have right now until I go shopping again.

Nick got to the bus on time and there it is. 

I suppose you could say I am feeling just ever so slightly homesick.  But I expected to get hit harder and earlier with the bug so.  I guess this is good.

So I guess after the past two days I'm not going to be left with much time for football tomorrow.  But that's fine.  Maybe I'm feeling downish because of my lack of productivity.  Who knows.  generally feeling pretty sub-par still.  I need to be praying.  I say it a lot but its true a lot.  

I feel dirty (literally, in need of a shower) and really tired.   

The Everyweek in Review

SO I figured I would sort've...outline what a typical cycle of seven days looks like for me.  Mostly so I can reflect on where my time can be spent better.  Let's start with Monday shall we?

Monday (in case you forgot): mean roll-out-of-bed time: 7 am.  I have gotten up as early as 6 o'clock (that one first day of school...) and once at 6:30 when I was running.  That one day...but I usually wind up ignoring my alarms until 7, sometimes 7:30.  I take a shower, make some kind of breakfast, and either walk to school (If I wake up at 7 or earlier) or take an 8:04-8:16 bus (If I don't get up till 7:30 or later).  I prefer having the time to walk and read my Bible and do other things in the morning.  Optimally, Run.  I hope to start that habit in the future...Anyway.  Class starts at 8:30 and goes til 9:50 officially, but frequently gets out earlier depending on how much of a groove the class or Tony gets into looking at poetry.  I almost always walk home immediately after class and get home at around 10:15.  I clean, make lunch, do various internet things, and perhaps watch Fox news until noon or so.  Then I usually try and get some homework done.  I am alone until 2-3 when Matt, Lodrick, or Jake get back... Usually it's Matt first and Lodrick last.  Lodrick is out alot.  From here, depending on how interesting my roommates are being,  there is some mixture of studying and goofing around with my new friends.  at 7 is Core.  The all guys small group for CCF based on your geographic position on campus.  These guys are pretty legit.  Pretty solid guys.  All great and mostly eligible Christian bachelors.  This usually ends at around 8:30.  I watch the list bits of the MNF game, and at 9 o'clock the manly men of Birnam Wood set out for our intramural dodgeball game.  We usually lose...and get home later than I'd like.

Tuesday: (Holy crap...this is gonna be long.)  Tuesday's and Thursday's are highly variable before noon.  I am sometimes still up at 7, and sometimes in bed til 10.  Class doesn't start til noon in the Humanities building 25 minutes away.  I wouldn't say there is a norm, but more often than not I'm at the library by 9 doing homework and frequently falling asleep on my text book.  Intro to Language (eng 370) starts an noon.  It's my favorite class probably.  Perfect mixture of lecture, just...funness, and class interaction.  The population of the class is pretty attractive in general as well.  When class gets out at 1:50 I head to the Rec center to meet up with Matt, Matt, Jake, Jake, and Trey (no lies...that's the 6 man crew including me) to work out.  Tuesdays are back and arms I think...but that's not been incredibly consistent.  and I don't know half the terminology anyway.  It's monkey see, monkey do, monkey feel sore in the morning for me.  That's usually over by 3:30 and I go back to the locker room and try and look like I wasn't running for my life to class, in the Comm facility at 4 o'clock for Political theory.  This class is mostly stirring lecture, which apparently isn't too stirring for most of the class.  I'm (no joke) on the edge of my seat the majority of the time though.  He's not the greatest lecture ever (he's not Dr. Toren *cough*kara*cough*) but he is really earnest.  That class usually lets out at 5:50 with a 5 minute break at 5 o'clock or so.  I walk back to Birnam Wood.  A 15 minute leisurely stroll from south campus.  Since it's Tuesday I haven't much to do after class.  So if there is still studying to be done I do it, otherwise I'll spend my time picking through the fridge and catching up with everyone else's days.  The last hour or so of the day is spent right here.  Bed time is 10-11 still for class at 8:30 in the morning. 

Wednesday: same deal as monday up until 1pm. It's the library and books from 10-1 and then at 1 I have my weekly 1 on 1 meeting with my Corfa (core facilitator) Joey.  He's one of the leaders of my small group from Monday nights.  We talk about our weeks, music, and Jesus.  This goes until 2.  I take the bus home usually from the Viking Union where we meet.  It is during these 1 on 1 sessions that I had my first Chick-fil-a experience.  I can't say it was anything special Dean...it wasn't bad.  The waffle fries are good.  But. Meh overall.  2-5:30 is pretty free.  I do what studying needs to be done still and then we head off to Gospel Community  at 6 (small group from Church devoted to creating...Gospel People).  There is always some awesome food here.  Free dinner.  That is pretty awesome, and the people are just.  Great.  Inspiring, uplifting, encouraging, honest.  Everything that I feel I'm not basically.  It's refreshing.  We drive home at 8ish.  I blog and go to bed.

Thursday:  Thursday feels like the laziest day of the week.  It is a carbon copy of Tuesday until class is out at 5:50.  Then it's showtime.  I eat dinner and sit down to Jeopardy at 7:30, Community at 8 (which I was pleasantry surprised to discover everyone else thinks is hilarious), 30 Rock at 8:30, The Office at 9, and Outsourced at 9:30.  Blog and bed comes next.

Friday: Is exactly the same as Monday, except instead of Core, there is CCF in Arntzen.  And there's no dodgeball.


Saturday:  I have spent the majority of Saturdays in the Library from 10-5ish.  This is when I get into Zen mode.  I read nearly the entirety of the Assistant on a Saturday.  It's a shame the library closes at 6 on Friday and Saturday (but is open til Midnight all other nights?)  We have established a sort of weekly game night that starts at 9 or 10 in Academic West with Laura and Aaron and friends.  This is where I was introduced to the incredibly addictive game of Set.  It's a pretty consistently fun time.  Saturday is a pretty late night too usually (game night goes til midnight usually)  which makes getting up for the 9:30 service (and the 45 minute walk) a real pain.  Especially since I take the most time getting ready in the morning on Sundays.

Sunday:  I get up usually closer to 8 to take a shower and get spiffy for Church.  We leave the Amadeus project around 11 and are home before noon.  I catch up on football, real and fantasy.  I will spend a lot of time watching football on most Sundays.  I am hoping it doesn't bother my amigos, who are less into the NFL than I am.  Sundays are by far the least structured day.  But I find my way back to bed at around 11 still.

I would like to see my week get more regular.  But I guess we can save that for next time.

Elsewhere in my world: 

I really want someone to take pictures of me.  Just. deliberately for an hour or so.  I don't really have any visual documentation of myself.  There was a time (really not so long ago) when I thought any schmuck including myself could pick up a camera and snap away and get decent results.  As long as the camera was decent.  I no longer hold this to be true...as evidenced by my own failures.  I dunno.  I haven't had pictures taken of me for the sake of...my own vanity by an experienced hand since I have been in Washington.  I want to nurture my vanity a little bit.  That sounds evil.  Maybe I'm not using the proper words...I've seen really plain people look magical with the proper picture.  I haven't seen a good picture of me in quite some time.  In my opinion at least.  It'd be nice.  Then at the same time...it's something I've really judged people for in the past.  Not taking picture of themselves, but having pictures taken of themselves to puff them up.  Photoshop is pretty magical too I guess...

My English class is really stinking for me right now.  Tony makes it seem like Rocket Science, and I feel like a majority of people in that class are able to understand him in ways that I haven't been able to.  I hope in the end it stretches me.  That I bend but don't break.  Maybe I...take something away from this that I didn't have before?  Whatever terribly obscure thing that is.  It baffles me that I've had such good results so far in what I've produced.  I feel like I'm doing terribly.  Like I'm missing the point. 

As I'm writing these things I feel hesitant to bring up God in this because I have a lot.  But I mean.  He's flipping omni-everything right?  Aren't you God? Yes.  So I need to pray about this class then.  God works in the world.  He really does.  He's not tied up in a little box in my brain, though I try to do that often times for some stupid reason.  He is able to work in all areas of my life and all areas of the world.  Ideally I'll let him.  He could if he wanted to but he can't because he loves me and my identity and my free will by proxy.  In that Share Jesus book Bill Faye gives this as the answer to the old question "Can God build a wall so strong he can't break it?"  That wall of free will sort've is that.  Anyway,  I need to let God be God.  Bigger than the boogie man.

Just looking outside you'd think it had been pouring.  Everything is so wet.  That's how I felt when I left class today.  But it's just 99.9999 humidity.  The water is just hanging in the air, without mass enough to be brought down to earth faster than a speck of dust.  It's pretty gal darn depressing.  Make up your mind Earth.  I can't stand your indecision.

Nick arrives at 5:30ish today on a greyhound and I have no idea what we are going to do.  I want to make spaghetti for dinner.  But I don't want to ask Matt for more of his beef.  SO I'm thinking of using some more of that sausage.  Not sure how that will turn out.  Not sure if I'm gonna take Nick to the CCF upstairs or downstairs.  I want to do the one upstairs because it's just a better presentation.  But how much does that really matter?  Mostly because the speaker is actually there upstairs and downstairs it's just...skyped or w/e.  Matt is leading downstairs though so that'd be a cool connection to make for myself ("Yeah, I know that guy.  We're tight.").  HA! 

Planning on getting a start on our movie list after that.  Matt wants to do the mask of Zorro or something...then I hope Jared's available to help me test out Nick's Halo skills.  We'll see how far he's come...not sure what time he leaves on Saturday so I wanna stay up pretty late tonight.  I think that's what Nick is used to anyway.  My mean bedtime has been 11ish actually.  Hardly later on the weekends either.  Am I missing some part of this experience by going to bed so early? Not sure.  Jake says that there is a sense of community in the dorms that isn't out here in Birnam Wood.  Well.  I can do without getting intimate with another 100 guys I think but who knows...maybe being so isolated is inhibiting my growth.  I dunno though, I'm still amazed by how outgoing I have been to date.  Baby steps.

For dinner today:

FRIED sausage with a colorful pallet of dipping sauces.  BBQ sauce, Spicy mustard, Wasabi sauce, chipotle mayonaisse.  mmm....washed down with a tall glass of chocolate milk. Yes.

So for class today (outside of class that is) I read two Burke excerpts.  They expressed my feelings from this morning pretty perfectly actually.  maybe I'll elaborate on that even further later on.

Didn't get our tests back in 261 today.  Disappointing.  My political beliefs are in as much limbo as ever right when I thought some clarity was perhaps being brought to me.  I just don't know.  I'll work on it some more.  Practical things...I dunno.

I made acquaintances with a girl today.  Even if it was the smallest of ...acquaintanceshipness.  She made a point of saying my name though when class was over.  Name saying I generally take to be a positive sign.

I already wrote a whole lot this morning.  and It's late.  I'm tired.  Excuses Excuses.

The office was...alright.  An ok episode.  It redeemed itself in the second half.  Jim is adorable.  Outsourced is a pretty dang funny show.  Too bad I feel that the show's on its way out.  Already having a romantic climaxy thing with the two main characters.  And where is Parks and Rec gonna go?  I dunno...it'll be bittersweet if it takes its place.  Really sucked at Jeopardy today.  Jake was on it though.

Nick get's in tomorrow.  and There's a mexican themed potluck that I...probably won't go to.  Especially with Nick.  I dunno.  I feel it would be awkward.  What do you think Nick?  We are going to CCF though.  Jake's on the road again down to silverdale via greyhound.  I'm committed to staying here til thanksgiving though...build up all that affection (jks...).

Waking up super early...

I must pray pray pray without ceasing.  Or as close as I can get to it.  I'd like to get some sort've prayer bracelet thing like I saw Bart had...great idea.

I'll tell you what I'm fed up with.

THE pretensions of SOME of my generation.  Jake recently asked me why I voted the way I did, and I decided to give him as honest an answer as I could (If I hadn't I would've sounded rather foolish I suspect).  I told him that the only issues I felt I had the authority to speak to were the ones that I can ground in Biblical truths.  Namely, infanticide.  There are plenty of social liberals and neo-classical liberals (I am currently not using the word liberal without qualifying it, or the word conservative at all.) that could convince me that either side was right on pretty much any issue.  The truth is I don't know a thing about economics.  Some say the government shouldn't spend money it shouldn't have, but the most influential economist...ever, John Maynard Keynes, says that massive deficit spending is an absolute necessity during economic down times if you desire a stable economy in a capitalist society.  I hardly know enough about how things work to pick a side.  Some people say that the government could hand over all of its responsibilities except national defense to the private sector and we'd be better off, and other people say the government needs to gain more control over things than it already has.  I don't really know which way is better.  They both sound right when I read their stuff.  Whether there's any hope of effectively democratizing Iraq and Afghanistan?  I certainly haven't a clue.  I'm becoming more and more cynical about politics the more I see of it.  People are so convinced they are right one way or the other.  Shouts against undue partisanship (as if it were inherently a bad thing...) coming from the bitterest of partisans.  Press conferences where politicians try and spoon feed Americans what they think they need to know to make an informed decision.  Goodness gracious, as far as I can see, to make a truly informed decision about your vote you need degrees in economics and comparative politics (might be some subconscious desire to be informed that I'm studying what I'm studying, or at least planning to study).  There is no way anyone is going to have a clue what they are talking about by reading all of the newspapers in the world or watching the news 24 hours a day.  They don't tell you anything but the very surface of a deep ocean of complexities.  One way or another you are trusting a member of the elite class to be right and do your thinking for you, based on a picture that he's painted for you revealing only as much as he wants, or thinks you can handle.  That's apparently worked the last 250 years.  Those genius people with all the money and all the power have created a pretty dang successful nation, and right now I'm inclined to let them keep making the decisions.  Goodness gracious, don't get fed up with the punks in Washington when you have no idea what you are talking about yourself.  I WANT someone thinking on their own and making the decisions they feel are right in Washington.  I certainly don't want someone representing what I think.  That would be disastrous.  I want my representatives doing what they feel is best based on their educated judgment.  I do not want them listening to me.

And goodness gracious Glenn Beck.  The founders were NOT democratic.  They had the knowledge and the power.  They knew how to use it.  They kept the people at arms length.  They knew the peoples political uses and they were few.  All that we the people stuff?  Stirring early American political rhetoric used to rally the troops around a cause they couldn't know less about.  They directed the peoples anger towards a King who had very little control over what happened in his Kingdom and promised that life would be better for them after word.  And it was, no doubt eventually.  But not because of the people or democracy.

Let me qualify myself even more.  I love free speech, and I love everyone voting.  I love democracy in America.  I don't think that should change.  But I think everyone needs to do a lot more listening than they do talking.  The people in 2010 are generally more educated, if less efficate, than they were in 1776.  But I hesitate to say we are educated enough.  Voting and speaking and being active in politics is good, it increases that level of knowledge I think.  Learning by doing.  So perhaps I'm contradicting myself here.  Maybe this is just me being fed up with the stupid people of the world, who are incapable or unwilling to be educated.  I don't think I'm contradicting myself too much...I just want people to shut up and just listen for once...I also want politicians to talk about more than surface gunk.  I think Americans are capable of understanding if you give them the chance.  But we don't get that chance because all the leaders on both sides don't tell you anything more than which box to check, for no substantive reason.

I want to be informed, sure.  I'm working on it.  I'm not suggesting that people stay out of politics.  I think it's a great thing to participate in public life.  Makes you a better person.  But I'd prefer if the uneducated masses did so quietly.  Understand, truly understand how things work before they open their mouths.

Like I said earlier, I vote republican because they are the only people who I can vote for and have any hope of infanticide being made illegal in my country.  That's an issue of social justice that is clearly spoken to in the Bible right there in the ten commandments.  Do not murder.

Maybe I'm speaking rashly.  Probably.  Just a little frustrated currently.

*Earlier I said something about getting a degree in whatever you wanted to be informed about.  I'm not saying that has to be necessary, but a lot of the time it is because that's the only way you are going to acquire that information.  Because those in power aren't going to tell you.  They like they're power (and like I said earlier, have generally managed things pretty well the past 250 years).  The news isn't going to tell you.  I dunno maybe the press secretly works for all those power people.  You can get informed without literally going to school. But it's much harder and requires a lot more than listening to the press or whatever politicians have to say.

*I use the word politician in two ways I think.  One way I use it is as a steward of power, the other a manipulator of it.  Contextually I hope you can understand when I'm using which.  I'm not a fan of the negative stigma surrounding politics in general.  Some of its bad, but I hope that most of it can be noble.

**please also note that this is a place where I publish my unpolished thoughts that I have just worked and am not even truly sure if I truly think.  They are gut reactions.  Shots from the hip.

In America...change comes slowly...if it comes at all...and that's just dandy.  Mostly.

I had such a Bomb Senior Year.

So much so that I had to capitalize it.  I really intensely miss it.  Especially when I go back and listen to all the music I got to be a part of making.  Not being in a wind ensemble has left a big hole in my life I feel.  For the first time in 9 years I'm not, and probably won't be for awhile.  Making that music was so...awesome.  I wonder though if I could ever really find that same feeling though.  I grew up with the people I played with.  I sat next to Richie Meier for 6 years.  Even though we never became that close of friends there was an awesome camaraderie.  And  then there's all of those that did become my great friends all over that group.  Such an awesome community atmosphere.  Listening to the sound reverberating from the walls of a high school gymnasium, the last horns down of a field show at competition, breathing "easily" for the first time in 11 minutes.  I don't think the same feeling can be captured in college.  I will hold onto those memories forever though.  There hasn't yet been anything more rewarding in my life on Earth than band.  That statement hopefully won't hold true for that many more years, but band will always be right up there.

Today was a pretty sub-par day mostly.  Got up at 7:30 and took the 8:04 bus to class.  We talked a little bit more about our paper due next Friday.  Tony managed to make it even more vague.  Now we're to right 'simply' "reflections on character."  I have no idea how this is going to work out.  But I've yet to have missed the mark in that class really, even though I feel blindfolded.  I walked home in my gray vans, which feel like I'm about to wear through the bottom of.  I did some dishes, watched some news, and took a 3 hour nap.  I've yet to really reorganize myself for the last 4 weeks of the quarter.  Perhaps tomorrow. 

I'm currently downloading the mondo Christmas music file for OEFC.  I hope I get to be a part of the program this year.  It was a lot of fun last year.  It's got about 2 hours left on the download timer.  The internet gets extremely slow around here from about 8 pm to 1 am.

Perhaps the most eventful part of my day was an altercation between myself and the soap squeegy dish washing apparatus.  I took the squeegy part out to examine how the soap got from the soap containing area to the squeegy area.  Little did I know I was looking down the barrel of a gun.  I squeezed the top of the apparatus and the pressurized soap/air came flying out of the tiny orifice into my eye.  Luckily it was running on empty, so it wasn't too soapy.  However, upon being attacked by my dish washing friend I jerk reactioned my head into the top of the window into the kitchen.  All in the space of a quarter second.  I am most dismayed I did not get it on video.  It was a great moment for me.  15 minutes afterward at least.

Gospel Community, which is our small group for church in which we game plan for living missional lives, was tonight.  It was encouraging.  Dug "further in" to verses 12-18.  talked about how we were being (or not being...) on mission in our everydays.  There is a guy from Whatcom Community College there named Christian who is simply inspiring.  He's so earnest and honest and open about Jesus.  And he just graduated last June from High School.  Putting me to shame.  I really shouldn't say that like it's a contest.  Because it isn't.  Or at least shouldn't be.  What he is, is encouraging.  I hope I can become as bold and real as him.

I'm hoping to roll in and out of bed earlier over the next 8 hours.  I need to start developing an effective routine so not as many of my minutes are wasted.  Optimally no minutes.

It's not unusual

FOR Matt, Lodrick, and I. to just.  Engage in a "conversation" where we just...make weird noises to eachother.  Like.  those big long-necked dinosaurs in Jurassic park.  Long high falsetto tones, low grones...moos. They just spontaneously begin.  At some random hour I'll hear a grumbly moanish sound and I'll respond with a yipyaw this or that and...It's really just bizarre.  Great bonding though.

I had my midterm today in 261.  It was 40 questions, all multiple choice.  It was way too easy in my mind.   I didn't exactly break my back studying for it, so I suppose I could be grateful, but at the same time, I've got a desire to...assert my awesome and separate myself from the pack.  I struggle with taking tests out of rivalry and vain conceit.

The take home test for my linguistics class wasn't due today as I had thought.  So I get the opportunity to further review it and not worry about it the next couple days as others might have to...that's good right?

I'm not writing as enthusiastically today as I have been the last few days.  Bah.  I'm tired.

We are watching this superman show from the 90's entitled "Lois and Clark."  We have been intermittently all quarter but tonight was the first time in awhile.  It's pretty entertaining, and the main mom from desperate housewives, Teri Hatcher, is Lois.  She is actually more attractive now at 45 than she was 17 years ago.  Lois and Clark are the archetypal star crossed lovers and it drives me insane.

After my four hour stay at the library refining my take home test that wasn't due today, I ran into Matt and Lodrick.  Matt was able to guest me into the commons and I ate to my hearts content.  It felt good.  They have this pretty awesome pita platter thing there.  It's like...pita bread with a heap of hummus, cucumber, tomato, olives, and some other dressing that looks like ranch with all of the fat sucked out of it.  I also had a Mediterranean chicken salad thing (I basically followed Matt around and picked up whatever he did).  After finishing what I had already I retrieved a couple of slices of pizza.  Then some weird chocolatey banana bread (awesome...), butterscotch cookies and coffee cake, with chocolate milk (The kind that you buy that's already chocolatey at the store, which for some reason is always way more awesome than any chocolate milk I could ever make for myself).  If I had a meal plan, I could easily gain fifty pounds this year.

I spent a relatively short amount of time picking out the clothes I would wear today as I anticipated another monsoon (in fact, the sun was out nearly all day) so I felt slightly less attractive than usual in my least favorite pear of jeans, glow-in-the-dark t-shirt, switchfoot hoodie, and brown jacket.

There is a girl in my linguistics class whose name is Lauren, whom I almost myself was Lauren Stanfield from Hanford, California.  But facebook has proven this to be false.

I am trying to limit my time on facebook for the next few weeks.  Getting my addiction under control.  I am going to limit myself to one visit ever 24 hours, and this not for more than half an hour.  At least for today I've had success.

The week in fantasy football was a great success.  Even if Tommy had updated his roster I would've creamed him.  Even with Randy Moss putting up a goose egg and now being thrust onto the waiver wire.  Legarratte Blount proved to be a worthwhile risk (I sat ryan mathews...he's been sitting the past few weeks, but Bradshaw was on a bye, so I considered it).  Thank you Michael Fabiano.  I'd be feeling a little more uneasy with my 2nd round draft pick not currently on a team otherwise.

As election day draws to a close, I'm not optimistic about the senate race.  Murray is ahead by 30,000 votes or so and it feels like, even though it's a 2% lead, that these sort've situations don't end well.  Especially if your candidates name is Dino Rossi.  61% reporting...we'll see.  Kitsap County went Rossi by a margin of just 38 votes.  Even though that's an irrelevant fact, it's still pretty exciting.   

GC is tomorrow night.  I'll do some house cleaning and day planning.  I just found out that the discussion questions for the night are posted on the church websites facebookyish feature "onthecity" in advance of our meeting so now I can study up and own the discussion out of rivalry and vain conceit too (sarcasm!).

I need to get into the Word today still.  Matt can sing at least a perfect 4th higher than me in falsetto.  I am envious.  But I have got an octave on him whistling.  My falsetto is more pure anyway.  I could pass for a girl way before him.

Just because

THIS is probably my favorite song (ever).  At least when it comes to music expressing an emotion.  It figures that this is...just complete emotional annihilation and not absolute joy.  The tenor soloist is pretty breathtaking in this video.  The story is 2 Samuel 18.  verse 33 is the text of the piece.

Kara and Sara are rolling there eyes because I talk about this so frequently...

It's in two parts.  and It's oh...15 minutes long.  "When David Heard." Music by Eric Whitacre, lyrics by...God? God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zOcXPeSufA&feature=related

part 2 (worth sticking around for! I promise.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZeU7okc6HQ&feature=related

I tried embedding these so the video just showed up on the page.  But that failed miserably for some reason.  Unfortunately I'm not technically enlightened.  So whoever you are.  You'll have to copy and paste these links yourselves since they don't even turn into links.

I can feel my biceps shrinking

It will have been a whole 9 days since my last visit to the gym if things go the way I have this week planned out.  I also failed to get up and run this morning with my 6 o'clock alarm.  I'll chalk that up to Jake keeping me up (all his fault of course) watching super smash brothers videos and him filling out his ballot after I picked him up from the bus stop.  Speaking of the bus stop, when I arrived and walked up to the Greyhound lobby doors I saw him speaking to a guy who I later found out is a security guardish person for various publicly owned areas of Bellingham.  When I met eyes with Jake through the glass his eyes lovingly told me to wait outside.  So I did.  My heart skipped a beat as I was thinking that I was already face to face with a come to Jesus moment so soon after having started the Share Jesus book.  I waited outside for a few short minutes throwing up some prayers.  When I finally (4 minutes later) was lock-step with Jake walking back to the car I found out Jake was simply ...paying him mind.  Just listening to what he had to say.  It wasn't exactly the foot of the cross moment I had (perhaps naively? nah.) first thought, but it was far from small talk.  Jake has proposed he (we?) go down to the bus stop Sunday nights (or something...) and just listen to folks talk.  Everyone has stuff to say and opinions on everything and they love to talk right?  I think it's a great missional idea.  I'd love to front-burner it.

I think I have read over all of my five previous posts, oh...8 times each or so.  That can't be a good sign.

Do you remember, in the original Sims game, how you would build up your charisma attribute by talking to yourself in the mirror for long periods of time?  I spent a few minutes doing that today (We've got a wonderful 3 paned cabinet/window contraption in the bathroom.  Staring at myself from angles that are only normally visible for those not limited to my optical perspective is endlessly amusing.)  If only that were the way things were in the real world.  I tell you, I've got the expressions down.  I can look concerned, happy, sad, upset, nervous, or loving with the best of them, and if I could have all my conversations in gibberish, I'd be set.  Giving a verbal script (that is, my own spontaneously generated script) to those emotions doesn't come as easily.  It's either words or emotion. Both at the same time? Not there yet.  It's sort've...an emotional studder.  So often times I come off as either...completely emotionless or, more often, completely insincere or off base.  Odds are though, if you're listening, those are the times I'm being the most sincere.  I'd say it's probably been ingrained in some people's heads as a Matt Wilsonism but.  I myself am not particularly endeared to it.  It's something I'd like to work to get rid of.

Today was one of those rare constructive days in my 202 class.  Sort've.  We did what's become the standard Socratic seminarish analysis of a couple of weird poems.  I opened my mouth in this arena for the first time (voluntarily at least).  So.  That's progress.  Since these two poems went pretty quick we got to talk about our next paper.  Everyday characters.  Tony went on to spout some incomprehensible (or maybe just way over my head) information about Aristotle's poetics and Henry James' something or other.  It was very English professory.

I elected to take the bus home from north campus, as it had been...monsooning on and off all day.  more on then off.  Upon getting back to the apartment I get a text from Jake saying he forgot to mail his ballot.  (we still haven't resolved whether or not "post-marked by election day" means in the mail day of or day before November 2nd).  So I offered to put it in the mail box.  Trouble is I don't really know where to do that at.  But I figured I'd try and look around the community building.  And then for the first, and probably not the last time, I walked out the door without my keys.  I'm actually surprised I made it this long without locking myself out.  At least I had my wallet, phone, and Jake's ballot though.  I remembered Jake telling me how he had gotten in by essentially pulling a Spiderman and scaling the back wall and getting onto the balcony.  I did not have quite the same faith in my acrobatic ability, so I decided I would go ahead and make the 25 trek to the VU, where Jake claimed there was a place for post.  Very luckily for me Jake's later class had been canceled and he was on his way back.  So the whole ordeal was not nearly has miserable as it could have been, and Jake was able to drop his good citizenship into the mail himself.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful up until my review session for the 261 midterm.  Well. That was fairly uneventful too actually.  Professor Jack Sparrow was more casual than usual but was not without his massive trademark armpit sweat stains.  I mean...does he notice these?  I dunno.  I think the class as a whole is past being embarrassed for him but it's still painful to look at.

Talk of Adam Smith and his division of labor, people knowing what's best for themselves and making choices accordingly...I dunno.  Sometimes I would like to be told by some bureaucrat what I should be doing as a part of society.  I don't want to pick out where my comparative advantage is, because I don't feel like I know myself best.  I'm sure (I think...) my mental/physical usefulness quotient would be good enough for me to not be among the what...9.5% at the bottom who would currently be without work.  If the unemployed even existed in such a society.  Which makes me wonder if I'd really be amongst Plato's passion class if all I'm driven by is an appetite for the means of survival.  I dunno.  It's an inflated sense of self.  Pride.  All of that's just a failure by me to see God as truly in charge.

The bulk of my responsibilities for this week passover me one way or another after class tomorrow.  Hopefully that way is the...successful way.  Measured in grade points at least.

Lodrick is talking about science on the phone.  What a smart guy.  "different gradients of synaptic potentials."  oh goodness.