I (was) a Promise

The days of being that kid with all the potential have come to an end.  A pro of being a parent is supposed to be all the joy children give their parents by being cute babies, goofy toddlers, and somewhat talented junior high musicians and/or athletes.  That's supposed to be a happy thing to watch.  I'm sure it is.  I sometimes wonder though, if any of that is worth a pile of beans to my parents now that I'm here as a twenty-two-year-old man (I guess that's what I'm called now that I'm passed that eighteenth birthday) about to graduate from college with a liberal arts degree, and only far off fuzzy ideas about what my future holds.

More school, in this decade, looks to me to be one of the most irresponsible things I could do.  Average indebtedness of the American law school class of 2011: 98 thousand dollars.  I do not believe that there is any kind of good debt once you reach those kinds of numbers.  I don't understand how so many people still are flying towards it.  How can you embrace having a ten year plan of monthly minimum payments of $1,200 and more from student debt before you even start your professional life? I think I've honestly been talked out of it.  God is going to have to reach down from heaven and speak through some miraculous financial happenings if anything otherwise is going to happen.

What is to be done then?  I know I love people and words.  I want my career to be based on working with those two things at ground level. Where I can see results and know a process is being done that has...made the world a better place on some level, for some people, without making it a worse place for others.  Being an attorney seemed like the answer. There was the law (words), which I loved working with, and the opportunity to interact with people in a meaningful way.  That might come off as a joke.  I don't know well enough to see it as one.

Matt Dugan is home and feeling optimistic about life.  Which is different then he's been feeling, and we've been feeling together.  So now it's just me.  Mope mope mope.

I have a hope.  The only real hope in the world.  And that's all that matters.

Something I am annoyed with

People who try and think of creative ways to say happy birthday.  Just say happy birthday.  I don't wanna hear some garbage about your "anniversary of your passage through a birth canal."  You pretentious nominalizers.  I am unrighteously annoyed with you.  My love tank is empty.

I'm writing something about the declaration of independence.  and rights.  It may surface by next weekend.


The string of great things happening to me was abruptly interrupted by the unfortunate sight of me wearing a small sized t-shirt.  I had it on before I realized it was two sizes to small.  My obliviousness knows very few bounds.


Matt is visiting with me right now.  He is commenting on how the layout of the furniture in my room changes every few months.  It's true.  I get bored.  It's consumer fetishism expressed in feng shui.


He is also not wearing a shirt and unshowered at 1 pm.  He would want me to talk about that.  Being unemployed and all.