The days of being that kid with all the potential have come to an end. A pro of being a parent is supposed to be all the joy children give their parents by being cute babies, goofy toddlers, and somewhat talented junior high musicians and/or athletes. That's supposed to be a happy thing to watch. I'm sure it is. I sometimes wonder though, if any of that is worth a pile of beans to my parents now that I'm here as a twenty-two-year-old man (I guess that's what I'm called now that I'm passed that eighteenth birthday) about to graduate from college with a liberal arts degree, and only far off fuzzy ideas about what my future holds.
More school, in this decade, looks to me to be one of the most irresponsible things I could do. Average indebtedness of the American law school class of 2011: 98 thousand dollars. I do not believe that there is any kind of good debt once you reach those kinds of numbers. I don't understand how so many people still are flying towards it. How can you embrace having a ten year plan of monthly minimum payments of $1,200 and more from student debt before you even start your professional life? I think I've honestly been talked out of it. God is going to have to reach down from heaven and speak through some miraculous financial happenings if anything otherwise is going to happen.
What is to be done then? I know I love people and words. I want my career to be based on working with those two things at ground level. Where I can see results and know a process is being done that has...made the world a better place on some level, for some people, without making it a worse place for others. Being an attorney seemed like the answer. There was the law (words), which I loved working with, and the opportunity to interact with people in a meaningful way. That might come off as a joke. I don't know well enough to see it as one.
Matt Dugan is home and feeling optimistic about life. Which is different then he's been feeling, and we've been feeling together. So now it's just me. Mope mope mope.
I have a hope. The only real hope in the world. And that's all that matters.
matt
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Something I am annoyed with
People who try and think of creative ways to say happy birthday. Just say happy birthday. I don't wanna hear some garbage about your "anniversary of your passage through a birth canal." You pretentious nominalizers. I am unrighteously annoyed with you. My love tank is empty.
I'm writing something about the declaration of independence. and rights. It may surface by next weekend.
The string of great things happening to me was abruptly interrupted by the unfortunate sight of me wearing a small sized t-shirt. I had it on before I realized it was two sizes to small. My obliviousness knows very few bounds.
Matt is visiting with me right now. He is commenting on how the layout of the furniture in my room changes every few months. It's true. I get bored. It's consumer fetishism expressed in feng shui.
He is also not wearing a shirt and unshowered at 1 pm. He would want me to talk about that. Being unemployed and all.
I'm writing something about the declaration of independence. and rights. It may surface by next weekend.
The string of great things happening to me was abruptly interrupted by the unfortunate sight of me wearing a small sized t-shirt. I had it on before I realized it was two sizes to small. My obliviousness knows very few bounds.
Matt is visiting with me right now. He is commenting on how the layout of the furniture in my room changes every few months. It's true. I get bored. It's consumer fetishism expressed in feng shui.
He is also not wearing a shirt and unshowered at 1 pm. He would want me to talk about that. Being unemployed and all.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I think deadlines are bad for me
I have four weeks of break yet I can feel my hair graying at the same pace it was during dead week. I've set all of these goals for the break and have all of this reading regimented out...and now when I'm not on the pace I want to be, here at 1 am, I an reverting to the same procrastinating techniques of the typical school quarter.
I'm going to turn iceinmyglass.blogspot.com into a 500 word essay collection. starting the first week of the new year I want to publish a 500 word essay every Sunday. on something I can have an opinion on. I feel like I need to start building some kind semi-formal of body of work if I want to really get into writing/editing professionally.
I don't know what is in storm for the rest of my life. I really don't. My cares are cast on Another's shoulder's though. (Not to make out God into nothing more than an existential pressure valve...maybe that's what I'm doing. Shame on me. "The point is...[I'll] be alright").
Christmas isn't here yet...no snow...not that much music...
You know when you think about it...the constitutional age requirement of thirty-five for the president made presidents pretty old for the times didn't it? I mean...thirty-five's a ripe old age at dawn of the nineteenth century. Another safeguard for white power I suppose...probably the only ones who could afford to live much longer than that back then.
I don't know who I'm supporting in the Republican field. But I'm pretty sure I'll be supporting one of them come November 2012. With Kim Jong-Il's death I'm not feeling Ron Paul so much anymore. Maybe Newt. Rick Perry is an actual idiot. He doesn't deserve to be the next Texas governor-turned president.
I know Jimmy Fallon might be funnier than Conan. I wish he wasn't in the same slot as the under appreciated Craig...11:30 is being absolutely wasted by NBC and CBS right now.
Hope you're having fun in Ireland Lyndsay. We'll miss you when we go caroling ;)
I'm going to turn iceinmyglass.blogspot.com into a 500 word essay collection. starting the first week of the new year I want to publish a 500 word essay every Sunday. on something I can have an opinion on. I feel like I need to start building some kind semi-formal of body of work if I want to really get into writing/editing professionally.
I don't know what is in storm for the rest of my life. I really don't. My cares are cast on Another's shoulder's though. (Not to make out God into nothing more than an existential pressure valve...maybe that's what I'm doing. Shame on me. "The point is...[I'll] be alright").
Christmas isn't here yet...no snow...not that much music...
You know when you think about it...the constitutional age requirement of thirty-five for the president made presidents pretty old for the times didn't it? I mean...thirty-five's a ripe old age at dawn of the nineteenth century. Another safeguard for white power I suppose...probably the only ones who could afford to live much longer than that back then.
I don't know who I'm supporting in the Republican field. But I'm pretty sure I'll be supporting one of them come November 2012. With Kim Jong-Il's death I'm not feeling Ron Paul so much anymore. Maybe Newt. Rick Perry is an actual idiot. He doesn't deserve to be the next Texas governor-turned president.
I know Jimmy Fallon might be funnier than Conan. I wish he wasn't in the same slot as the under appreciated Craig...11:30 is being absolutely wasted by NBC and CBS right now.
Hope you're having fun in Ireland Lyndsay. We'll miss you when we go caroling ;)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Week two or something
It's Tuesday of the second full week...we've had...two full weeks of class exactly. So if you're counting continuously the third week starts tomorrow.
I picked up a fifth four hour shift on Saturdays from 9-1. It just tickled my heart's strings to hear my manager say he'd rather they cut other employees shifts than mine. I'm a food service ace. Major life goal accomplished.
In total I'll be working about 20 hours now. I still have every day from two til bed on weekdays to do homework so I don't think I should be that pressed as long as I am disciplined in sticking to those time as designated study hours.
I am enjoying the pants out of this Philosophical law issues class. I'm in the running for discussion MVP right now (of course this has to be viewed from the perspective of my personal greatness...). I actually wish the class was three hours instead of two. Shakespeare is also really enjoyable actually. There's a strong correlation between my preparedness and my input in discussion, and then my input in discussion to enjoyment of the class. Consequently renaissance politics and Chinese are...not so enjoyable so far.
I told Matt Dugan the other day I couldn't be more pleased with how my life is going right now. Immediately following this proclamation we took a notable (to me) trip to the bookstore that left me feeling weighed, measured, and wanting. Anyway...
I've been doing the little devotionals in the Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for High Highest" book. True statement. ....anyway, a common thread in the last few pages has been leaving the mount and going into the valley...while holding onto the vision of the mount...that's pretty abstract but...Here's a couple quotes from yesterday:
"This is your line of service--to see that there is nothing between Jesus and yourself. Is there? If there is, you must get through it, not by ignoring it in irritation, or by mounting up, but by facing it and getting through it in the presence of Jesus Christ..."
"Can I face things as they actually are in the light of the reality of Jesus Christ, or do things as they are efface altogether my faith in Him, and put me into a panic?"
It's a very rare moment when I'm able to have Jesus in my conscious mind while in the midst of trial. A tough conversation, challenging worldly idea, or temptation.
Fantasy Football is going terribly this year...and I care less every week.
I need to start using a calendar or I'm going to suddenly realize on a Wednesday that I have three papers due on that Friday.
I'm eating five meals a week at the dining hall thanks to work. That puts a big dent in the grocery bill.
It's a cool thing to have a group of a few guys who are interested in and knowledgeable living together and taking the same class.
I picked up a fifth four hour shift on Saturdays from 9-1. It just tickled my heart's strings to hear my manager say he'd rather they cut other employees shifts than mine. I'm a food service ace. Major life goal accomplished.
In total I'll be working about 20 hours now. I still have every day from two til bed on weekdays to do homework so I don't think I should be that pressed as long as I am disciplined in sticking to those time as designated study hours.
I am enjoying the pants out of this Philosophical law issues class. I'm in the running for discussion MVP right now (of course this has to be viewed from the perspective of my personal greatness...). I actually wish the class was three hours instead of two. Shakespeare is also really enjoyable actually. There's a strong correlation between my preparedness and my input in discussion, and then my input in discussion to enjoyment of the class. Consequently renaissance politics and Chinese are...not so enjoyable so far.
I told Matt Dugan the other day I couldn't be more pleased with how my life is going right now. Immediately following this proclamation we took a notable (to me) trip to the bookstore that left me feeling weighed, measured, and wanting. Anyway...
I've been doing the little devotionals in the Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for High Highest" book. True statement. ....anyway, a common thread in the last few pages has been leaving the mount and going into the valley...while holding onto the vision of the mount...that's pretty abstract but...Here's a couple quotes from yesterday:
"This is your line of service--to see that there is nothing between Jesus and yourself. Is there? If there is, you must get through it, not by ignoring it in irritation, or by mounting up, but by facing it and getting through it in the presence of Jesus Christ..."
"Can I face things as they actually are in the light of the reality of Jesus Christ, or do things as they are efface altogether my faith in Him, and put me into a panic?"
It's a very rare moment when I'm able to have Jesus in my conscious mind while in the midst of trial. A tough conversation, challenging worldly idea, or temptation.
Fantasy Football is going terribly this year...and I care less every week.
I need to start using a calendar or I'm going to suddenly realize on a Wednesday that I have three papers due on that Friday.
I'm eating five meals a week at the dining hall thanks to work. That puts a big dent in the grocery bill.
It's a cool thing to have a group of a few guys who are interested in and knowledgeable living together and taking the same class.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Oohs and Ahhs
So today marked the 5th day of class this and a completion of a first full week this school year. So far it seems like a good slate of study lays ahead of me.
I'm working at the new Burger Studio place Tuesday and Thursday mornings, as well at the new Subway on the weekends. Both on campus, which is nice, but the hours are short. The actual work has been pretty interesting. I'm officially a fry cook. Which is surprisingly fun. I think I'll average 16 hours at my current rate. Which is what? 120 dollars to take home every week? It should pay the rent at least. I'd like to see if I can't get into a seasonal retail position too. I might die with this credit load though.
I'm just as fat as when I left. There's a pull up bar at the bottom of the stairs that I've been doing a couple times a day, but that's the extent of my exercise this quarter. I should get running in the morning. I also need to get a regular diet to manage better than the current system of pulling random things out from the fridge.
Everyone I live with is awesome, but that wasn't a variable coming into the year. Church is great. Class really is great. Especially my philosophical issues in law class. It's got all of eight people in it. Conversation becomes a lot easier. I don't feel so much like I'm being a showy jerk bag if I open my mouth in that class. There are no idiots in the class as far as I can tell. Bobby Sterling, who I glowingly reviewed upon our meetcute in the back of Matt's car last Fall is in that class.
This is the most fun Switchfoot song since Stars. Vice Verses seems a step up out of a mini-rut after one and a half listens.
Professor Parris wound up being the one to connect me to Mrs. Fisher. How embarrassing.
My professor in this renaissance-modern political thought class stairs at the sealing whenever she talks for any extended period. She speaks quite well otherwise.
Shakespeare is so far. Alright. She is not the greatest lecturer on philosophy I've had. Matt, Jake, and Aaron being in that class makes it great of course.
I got a parking ticket from the immorally hawkish university police today. $25. But if I don't get another one I'm not sure if they can force me to pay it...I don't think they can connect the vehicle to...me. If they could they'd put a hold on my student account. But they're not the law. Anyway. I have 13 days to pay without a late fee. If I do pay...
I'm working at the new Burger Studio place Tuesday and Thursday mornings, as well at the new Subway on the weekends. Both on campus, which is nice, but the hours are short. The actual work has been pretty interesting. I'm officially a fry cook. Which is surprisingly fun. I think I'll average 16 hours at my current rate. Which is what? 120 dollars to take home every week? It should pay the rent at least. I'd like to see if I can't get into a seasonal retail position too. I might die with this credit load though.
I'm just as fat as when I left. There's a pull up bar at the bottom of the stairs that I've been doing a couple times a day, but that's the extent of my exercise this quarter. I should get running in the morning. I also need to get a regular diet to manage better than the current system of pulling random things out from the fridge.
Everyone I live with is awesome, but that wasn't a variable coming into the year. Church is great. Class really is great. Especially my philosophical issues in law class. It's got all of eight people in it. Conversation becomes a lot easier. I don't feel so much like I'm being a showy jerk bag if I open my mouth in that class. There are no idiots in the class as far as I can tell. Bobby Sterling, who I glowingly reviewed upon our meetcute in the back of Matt's car last Fall is in that class.
This is the most fun Switchfoot song since Stars. Vice Verses seems a step up out of a mini-rut after one and a half listens.
Professor Parris wound up being the one to connect me to Mrs. Fisher. How embarrassing.
My professor in this renaissance-modern political thought class stairs at the sealing whenever she talks for any extended period. She speaks quite well otherwise.
Shakespeare is so far. Alright. She is not the greatest lecturer on philosophy I've had. Matt, Jake, and Aaron being in that class makes it great of course.
I got a parking ticket from the immorally hawkish university police today. $25. But if I don't get another one I'm not sure if they can force me to pay it...I don't think they can connect the vehicle to...me. If they could they'd put a hold on my student account. But they're not the law. Anyway. I have 13 days to pay without a late fee. If I do pay...
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Book I: A Nice Little Family
A few friends and I are reading Brothers Karamazov. We're going to blog about it. I think.
I just finished Book one. I'm supposed to finish book three tomorrow.
Book one introduces what I gather are supposed to be the three main characters of the novel. Dmitri (ESFP), Ivan (INTJ), and Alyosha (INFP). They are the son of Fyodor. (so they're all Fyodorovich Karamazov. I love Russian names. Seriously.) They're all massively different from one another and have very little experience dealing with one another until the narrator brings us into their lives.
So I figure one way to do this is to do the reading response, summary, quote, question thingy...Right now I'm really tired and I know this is going to be a nearly heartless rushed job.
The first time I read through Book 1 (I read the first 100 pages or so last year) I thought Alyosha was the guy I was going to be relating to most. That's probably still the case but I don't think I relate to him (modern reader syndrome) as well as I first thought. I'm definitely aware of money and people, and I'm definitely. Judgmental. He is neither of these things. Here's something I like that sums up what he is aware of. " 'I cannot give two roubles instead of "all," and instead of "follow me" just go to Sunday liturgy.' " (in response to the story of the rich young man, asking Jesus what he must do to get eternal life). Undoubtedly an NF after that.
Some more quotes I liked...
"...if the cliff, chosen and cherished from long ago, had not been so picturesque, if it had been merely a flat, prosaic bank, the suicide might not have taken place at all." (story of a romantic girl.)
The first paragraph, which works toward defining muddleheadedness, I'm sure will only reveal it's self to me more brilliant as I read it over again and gain more context. I know it felt good when I was flipping back and forth through the first couple pages. The thoughts I thought escape me now though. I need to take notes. Write at length right as I come to things. I need to stop saying I.
I just finished Book one. I'm supposed to finish book three tomorrow.
Book one introduces what I gather are supposed to be the three main characters of the novel. Dmitri (ESFP), Ivan (INTJ), and Alyosha (INFP). They are the son of Fyodor. (so they're all Fyodorovich Karamazov. I love Russian names. Seriously.) They're all massively different from one another and have very little experience dealing with one another until the narrator brings us into their lives.
So I figure one way to do this is to do the reading response, summary, quote, question thingy...Right now I'm really tired and I know this is going to be a nearly heartless rushed job.
The first time I read through Book 1 (I read the first 100 pages or so last year) I thought Alyosha was the guy I was going to be relating to most. That's probably still the case but I don't think I relate to him (modern reader syndrome) as well as I first thought. I'm definitely aware of money and people, and I'm definitely. Judgmental. He is neither of these things. Here's something I like that sums up what he is aware of. " 'I cannot give two roubles instead of "all," and instead of "follow me" just go to Sunday liturgy.' " (in response to the story of the rich young man, asking Jesus what he must do to get eternal life). Undoubtedly an NF after that.
Some more quotes I liked...
"...if the cliff, chosen and cherished from long ago, had not been so picturesque, if it had been merely a flat, prosaic bank, the suicide might not have taken place at all." (story of a romantic girl.)
The first paragraph, which works toward defining muddleheadedness, I'm sure will only reveal it's self to me more brilliant as I read it over again and gain more context. I know it felt good when I was flipping back and forth through the first couple pages. The thoughts I thought escape me now though. I need to take notes. Write at length right as I come to things. I need to stop saying I.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Hello Thursday
No comedy tonight. That's over for the year. I got into the political theory class I was on the waitlist for. So my ideal schedule has come true. MWF, 8:30-10 Shakespeare. 10-12 Renaissance Political Theory. 12-2 Modern Chinese Politics. Then TR, 12-2 Philosophical & Ethical Issues in Law. English 308, and PLSC 362, 430, and 467. I am graduating in a year. Heck yes.
Hearing stories of Mr. West's desire to go to Law School, but drastic change of plans because of his bride to be, then becoming a teacher, which he vowed never to become, have given me great encouragement. This is exactly the way I see my life panning out right now. Having a plan, that I know I probably won't follow through with, and a plan Z, which is really the plan all along. Now all I need is a bride to be to make me not want to give up my life to the allegedly torturous demands of the legal profession.
Thinks I need prayer to not be anxious about, but still have the grace to put my talents forth for to receive more grace in hopefully having them granted, or get shown a better way: Money making opportunities this summer. Continuing to work on becoming all about my Gospel purpose. Not in that order. This so I can be a fit servant at church this summer wherever there's need. Financial aid for next year to get cleared out smoothly. Money making opportunities next fall.
I'm going to become a permanent resident of Bellingham as early as September 1st. And after next summer's graduation I'm going to be totally unanchored. This is intimidating, exciting, terrifying...lots of things. Anything could happen. Anywhere. Most of all it's exciting.
This is going to be a wild ride yes? I want to pack up and get far away. Maybe internationally. Step out on my own in faith. Far away, yes...Peace corp maybe? TESOL? Hitchhiking? Taking all of these Asia courses....hm. Something, before more school. That's for sure.
Hearing stories of Mr. West's desire to go to Law School, but drastic change of plans because of his bride to be, then becoming a teacher, which he vowed never to become, have given me great encouragement. This is exactly the way I see my life panning out right now. Having a plan, that I know I probably won't follow through with, and a plan Z, which is really the plan all along. Now all I need is a bride to be to make me not want to give up my life to the allegedly torturous demands of the legal profession.
Thinks I need prayer to not be anxious about, but still have the grace to put my talents forth for to receive more grace in hopefully having them granted, or get shown a better way: Money making opportunities this summer. Continuing to work on becoming all about my Gospel purpose. Not in that order. This so I can be a fit servant at church this summer wherever there's need. Financial aid for next year to get cleared out smoothly. Money making opportunities next fall.
I'm going to become a permanent resident of Bellingham as early as September 1st. And after next summer's graduation I'm going to be totally unanchored. This is intimidating, exciting, terrifying...lots of things. Anything could happen. Anywhere. Most of all it's exciting.
This is going to be a wild ride yes? I want to pack up and get far away. Maybe internationally. Step out on my own in faith. Far away, yes...Peace corp maybe? TESOL? Hitchhiking? Taking all of these Asia courses....hm. Something, before more school. That's for sure.
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